BYES WITH TEARS AND RELIEF

May 22, 2013 11:20 PM, this night, my heart is dreading but I must move on. I even trying to remember those sweet songs we had but it seems I already forgotten some strums of notes that made the melody broken. My eyes are wide opened now. My heart cries but the tears it shows flow through my eyes, made me to see the reality. After all the laughter we had, after all the lullabies I used to believe, after all the hugs he used to comfort,  it just turned to be forgetful. He may never surface the depth of pain, he may never count the drums of water crawling down to my cheeks, but deep inside my heart I know, time will show him all the aches I had, so he can also feel the pain he had just caused. Yes, I admit I am not totally perfect and so he does. I am not like others who have almost everything that he was looking for. I am just a simple ME trying to be good or better in a way that I ought to be. Though I also made mistakes, yet it doesn't mean that I am not worthy to own a favor. Yes, I have weaknesses that made him disappoint yet I also more strengths that he just overseen. Though I am not like what he had before, indeed I have what they haven't, yet, it seems I always turn to be blaming. He has the reason to throw and so am also, for he also not perfect. I tried to understand him for his perceptions and misdealing, but how could he not be to me? I know what he had been through before we met but it should not be the valid reason as an excuse or else, I'll end up my self tortured everyday by his lies. 

HE is there for as my big star 

I have done my part already; stretched out my patience and understanding. And now, it is already time for me to cross against the strong current of the river. I must land into another side, where hopes and dreams are still green. I am not used to travel alone, I am afraid, I am not stronger, but in God above,  I could be alone, knowing HE is there for me as my big star to give direction and light my journey. In due time, in His perfect time, I could have someone who can be with me forever. It is better to be in  parting ways than be together yet full of envies. I chose to live a simple yet peaceful life than being with someone who showers me everyday with pain. Indeed it hurts. It really hurts. And it takes time for me to be cured. However, I must face the reality that, his love story is not for me, thus, it is for someone else. So, we must be set free.